Access to university, that is.
I have been offered a place.
At first I managed to ignore the paradoxical nature of the name. I know it doesn't mean access the way I think of Access..
I can't take the idea of dept.
Not even imaginary dept
Dept that is just a tax code.
Dept that could be real, could be imaginary
Dept that flickers through real and imaginary like the guy in Borderlands (Outer Limits, not the film.)
The film is pretty good though :)
I can't do dept.
Which is kind of stupid of me...but dept, just the idea of it, is a key that unlocks bad memories.
So I think I'm going to let the offer go.
Not certain about that...
Just pretty sure.
I like the idea of someone else taking my place as if I've offered someone a seat on the bus. Even if the metaphor is completely wrong.
Access was one of the first, if not the first credit card.
It was the one most people had, if they had a card, and most people didn't.
My husband -now ex-husband- had an Access card.
It was his Flexible Friend.
I learnt to hate it.
Now without his Access card he would not have been able to complete his OU degree which eventually led to him being 'head hunted' by prestigious tech companies.
But, he used the card to buy things that he wanted.
More things in a house full of things.
Taking the Waiting out of Wanting...
A cure for all and any psychic pain.
The minimum payment on that card was more than our mortgage payment.
Credit is an optical illusion.
An Escher staircase...