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Friday, February 27, 2015

The suicide note...

I included her suicide note
In the bag
Full of things she had lent me...

It had been kept
Located in the past
Along with the memory
Of her sadness

Between the pages
Of my diary

Year 1978.
Saturday April 8.

My sister hadn't come down for dinner...

I found her standing on the bed
Looking out of the window
She said that she was thinking about killing herself..

She gave me her note.

We took the dog and went for a walk in the woods
She was full of fear
Saw faces in the gaps
In the darknesses between
In the swirls of tree...

Latter I took her to my grandmother
So she could sleep..

I kept the note as a talisman
To keep her safe

Returning it
Undoes the spell....

I didn't write this track about my sister,
But it feels very appropriate to now.

It is time for the ritual of undoing.

I walk the labyrinth back to the trees
My black dog pads beside me

Looking up
Into the branches
I summon the faces that scared her
To witness
As the sun severs

A different branch from the tree.

The second universe
Shifts over this one
Reminding me
My sister
Wasn't found
The ink faded from the note as it fell under damp twigs and leaves.

I had no note to guard
I have no sister.

My sister killed herself
On the 8th of April 1978

You have reached the end of 37 Dagon Street.

I'd thought that

Starting again
Ditching all this

I can't bear to read...


Well it is just as good, bad, mad bad and boring as its ever been...

The ride into oblivion